chibi-neo

2006-10-22T13:40:00.000+08:00

i love being right! n i know that i've been right about several things...

but if i'm right about a bad thing... i would rather not know if i'm right or wrong

call it evasion... call it running away... call it anything you want...

but to me... it's just self preservation.

i admit it. i'm afraid.

2006-09-21T17:43:00.000+08:00

time for another miraculous entry.

it's almost impossible to study at home.
especially when my family is around.
after all, it's almost a sin studying considering that they've held the belief that i don't study for so many years. haha.

but then of course it's really impossible to study in their presence.
whenever i get down to studying, they seem to find a lot of things to do in my room.
n then of course they have to talk at the top of their voices.
n it's also quite off-putting making notes when your brother is storming about the house.
quite difficult to determine if he's a bad mood or he's simply heavy footed.
definitely hope it's the latter.

n then there is always things to do on the com.
looking for songs... watching stuff on youtube...
but that's kinda losing it's allure
especially with the 'A's looming up with such inevitability.
40+ days to go... n i hope that for that month, i can always get upright floating tea leaves.

2006-08-06T14:21:00.000+08:00

why am i always the who breaks first
why is it that no one has ever seen me for me
why is it that i feel so alone when i'm surrounded by people
or is it because i am surrounded by people
why is it that i am so steeped in my own misery
my own self-pity, so immersed in my protective circle that i can't see the misery of others
why is it that all i do is hurt others
when all i wanted to do was to protect myself from getting hurt?

i don't think i'll ever get to know the answers

2006-06-08T18:24:00.000+08:00

"Let me tell you what you feel like when you know you are ready to die.

You sleep a lot, and when you wake up the very first thought in your head is that you wish you could go back to bed.

You go entire days without eating, because food is a commodity that keeps you here.

You read the same page a hundred times.

You rewind your life like a videocassette and see things that make you weep, things that make you pause, but nothing that makes you want to play it forward.

You forget to comb your hair, to shower, to dress.

And then one day, when you make the decision that you have enough energy left in you to this one, last, monumental thing, there comes a peace. Suddenly you are counting moments as you haven't for months. Suddenly you have a secret that makes you smile, that makes people say you look wonderful, although you feel like a shell - brittle and capable of cracking into a thousand pieces."

excerpt from Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult

2006-05-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

i am pitied. self-pity.

i am mocked. self-mockery.

i am loathed. self-loathing.

i want to cry. i am crying.

2006-02-15T17:34:00.000+08:00

Argh!!! how to save money when there are so many things to buy???

i wanna but jj's n cai chun jia's new cd's n i also just saw that pride n prejudice vcd is out. haiz... n i need a new pencil case... badly.

then of course there's the money i spent on valentine's day presents... haiz... can't even recoup loses... let alone save more. :*(

2006-01-18T16:40:00.000+08:00

been so long since i updated... haha... getting lazy again... but what's new?

met up with sital n sayuki-chan during the hols... so nice to be with them again... no matter what... it always feels different.

started school with tons of homework yet to be finished... but got into a hardworking mode and finished about 3/4 of it. could be a good way to start a year...

5 new additions to our class this year: kristy, su ling, hadhina, kenneth & zhi wei. the girls are nice. easy to talk to. kenneth reminds me of wilson for some obscure reason. zhi wei well... haven't really gotten an impression of him yet. but he seems on the whole nice.

some change in teachers. pe teacher became mrs loh [mr loh's wife]. she's nice but a killer when it comes to conditioning. but then again, it could be because i'm totally out of shape. but volleyball's fun. burst a few capillaries though. gp teacher became mr. a. he's got a tendency to repeat things. sets the class giggling. haha. but oh well can't complain. he's quite interesting. quirky sense of humour.

got sick yesterday. the worst flu i've had in a year or so. can thank jing'er for that i guess. haha. though maybe she isn't the source of the germs. the thing is, i always seem to start a year with a flu... this some kind of tradition?

bio test today. 2 words: i'm dead. another 2 words: dead meat. in a word: disaster. then i'm in a dilemma. should i then work hard for chem n maths tomorrow? or since i'm already dead... heck care??? haha. i'll think about it.....

now while waiting patiently for the second season of tsubasa, i'm reading FMA. haha. then i'll probably get tsubasa comic from sayuki-chan or cheryl. hee. doesn't matter whom. i just wanna read it.

2005-12-15T13:05:00.000+08:00

ahhhhh!!!!!!!! tsubasa chronicles is killing me!!! how can they do it in three seasons with a 6 month interval??? SIX months!!!

tsubasa chronicles's pretty nice. haha guess all those who like CCS would like Tsubasa Chronicles.

Tsubasa Chronicles is about...

In the Land of Clow, a teenaged Syaoran returns from archaeology did where he is working. He is greeted by his old childhood friend, Princess Sakura. Sakura wants to confess her feelings for Syaoran, but gets interupted before doing so. Later, she meets Syaoran at the ruins where her latent powers become active and wings (tsubasa) appear as a mysterious person attempts to kidnap her. Syaoran prevents Sakura from being taken, but now Sakura is unconscious and her memories appear to be gone. She will die unless she can get help from the time-space witch Yuuko. The priest-mage Yukito sends Syaoran across space and time to another universe where Yuuko resides on Earth in Japan. There, they not only meet Yuuko, but also Kurogane, a powerful ninja who was sent there by Princess Tomoyo from her universe to learn the true meaning of strength. And finally they meet Fai, a powerful mage and creator of Chii in his world. He’s on the run from a sleeping ruler named Ashura.
Yuuko agrees to grant all of their wishes for a major price. For Kurogane, he must give up his sword in order to travel through dimensions in the hopes of returning home. For Fai, he must give up the tatoos that his magic comes from so he can stay on the run. For Syaoran, he must give up his current relationship with Sakura to travel to the dimensions to find the feathers of her wings which contain her memories. And Sakura, though unconscious, must give up her memories of Syaoran.
Together, the four set off with the critter Mokona, who can locate Sakura’s feathers, who can open doors between universes, and who can communicate with Yuuko when needed.

above summary taken from http://www.animeupdates.com/ so i claim no credit if u r wondering about my sudden stream of words. :P

i'm wondering where to buy this anime and getbackers in singapore... n whether i should... haiz... no way i would be able to get it on line... not without my mom or dad knowing... tough luck.

2005-11-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

heehee... did something naughty today. was reading this chinese book titled <> it was an ok book... haahaa. u noe tt u get a receipt from the machine when u borrow the books right? haha i found three of those in the first 120 pages of that book... i took those receipts out thinking to throw them later. then before i went to the library this afternoon i saw them lying on my floor n the itch in my heart was unbearable. haha i just had to do it. haha just couldn't resist the urge. so i slot in the three receipts n added mine in... hahaahhahahahahahaahahaahahahahahahahahaha... try it sometime when u see all these receipts in the book... satisfaction guaranteed! haha. n i was cursing ill fate to receive all this sleps of paper coming out of the book... hee :P i am soooo evil.

2005-11-12T16:42:00.000+08:00

i just heard tt my nanny passed away... another constant has disappeared from my life...... when will they ever be replaced???

2005-11-09T15:47:00.000+08:00

after 2 days of sleepless nights i was finally able to get some sleep...

vienna boys was totally AMAZING!!! the solo sop could play the violin!!! shuai dai le. n the little chibis who played the drums... kawaii! haha. the eastern peices they sang were so good i was enthralled from the first note to the last... wo hai zai huai nian... i noe i noe its like one whole week after the performance n i'm still here gushing... but well it's never too late to gush... right?

which reminds me abt alez's dog sherub... ah!!!!!!!!! soooooooooo cute haha... :D n how can peiyu's cat lie on MY bag??? O_o! haiz.... haha..

op was... haha... let's just say it didn't go as well as i hoped... but it's OVER!!! never have to see that stinking slides again!!! woohoo!!!

will be going for that underwater world camp on the 16th-17th... haha... can't wait! dolphins!!! hee...

some things... i see but cannot comment on... what right do i have?? i... haiz... but even then it's hard to look n not see... n see but keep it in... i think it'll come out sooner or later considering my temper... but... oh well... as it is keeping it in is better than spitting it out... i'll blind myself if i have to... but it's getting harder... n when i see some things behind the eyes... i feel the guilt... it could have been my fault... but i can only stay mum for now... i guess...

learnt an important lesson today... put your heart into whatever you are doing... if not don't do it... it will only cause pain... lot's of it...

2005-10-31T19:57:00.000+08:00

chinese down OP to go...

haiz... can't wait till it's all over.

scrapped through promos... not happy... not unhappy... perhaps i should b... but wad the heck... *i'm a ceo*

anywayz... most probably b able to stick as a class... tt's good right?

can't wait till wed... VIENNA BOYS CHOIR!!! wooooohoooooooooooo!

been feeling the need for moments of peace... haha... i think i'm weird...

oh wells... that's for being a hazelnut

ne sayuki-chan... heh!!! i forget what i wanted to say... haha... oops...

2005-10-08T17:51:00.000+08:00

As usual i'm slow in updating my blog. It's been wad 3 days since promos. can't believe it's over. but wadever. guess i'll be mugging again soon. it was a total DISASTER!! i won't go into details.

Anywayz. Went towning with peiyu, nini, cheryl, wendy and alex that day. haha. felt quite good to be free. except that we were linking everything to studies. horrible aftermath.

Wanted to buy anime. but haiz. as usual... singapore has a disappointing number of anime. meaning there is almost none but the most famous. but what is the most famous when u don't like watching it?? haha. not that i find it objectionable. i watch anything. but it's a different matter when u want to but it. going to c if there is anything at comic connection tomorrow. keeping my fingers crossed.

Was feeling considerably bubbly on the way home. smiling to myself like some nut. oh well. i am a hazelnut after all. anywayz. don't ask me y i was all smiley. it's inexplicable.

Nothing more to say. don't expect me for a long time as usual. will try tho.

*impressed i wrote so much

2005-09-21T18:38:00.000+08:00

this is the most chibi thing i could find so far... haha... chibi enough for you cheryl???

hahaz

2005-09-09T19:50:00.000+08:00

this was the gothic template i wanted peiyu to c... haha... i noe u guys wish i were so hardworking when it comes to posting but... gomen ne! that's real tough... heez... anwayz... here's a formal welcome to watashii no sekai!

2005-09-09T19:47:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2005-09-09T19:45:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2005-09-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

hahaz

2005-09-09T19:03:00.000+08:00

hahaz... this is the gothic template i wanted peiyu to c... haha... noe u guys wish that i'd b as hard working when it comes to posting... but gomen ne! that's real though! hahaz. anywayz... here's saying a formal welcome to watashi no sekai!

horrible week

2005-07-01T19:53:00.000+08:00

should b one of the most horrible weeks in pjc so far... bio test on wednesday and friday, math, GP and chemistry on thursday... GP tuesday... at the end of the week we r all hysterical... and all we want to do is to lie on our beds and sleep...

something to look forward to tomorrow though... going to watch initial d with pei yu, yong ni, cheryl and wendy... the look on cheryl and wendy's face when they see jay is imaginable... haha... as long as yong ni doesn't burst out laughing at the wrong time... *prays* we should have an enjoyable day...

i got a small little present for sayuki-chan today... hope i can c her soon to pass it to her... *hint hint* anyway... i wanna go lie in my bed now... i miss it SO much...

oh... n i saw a couple of cute japanese guys today... bad thing is they are all chibi's like ME!!! muahahahahaha!!!!! they may even b shorter than me! *evil grins*

signing off with evil thoughts...

2005-06-26T18:00:00.000+08:00

it's been so long eh? haha... the last day of school holidays finally drove me to write something here... i think after being a few months of lost wandering soul... i finally found myself again... i dunno... i just somehow... found it...

so i guess mayb i'll be writing here more often now... cos it seems that lost wandering souls always need more time to have their thoughts to themselves... n now that it seems the crisis is over, mayb i'll be able to be more open with my thoughts now...

i guess it was too many changes at once... that sayuki-chan would be so near yet so far away is probably one that dealt the blow closest to my heart... n i guess i thought that i'll be weak saying that or admitting that to myself...

i must say thank you to all my friends cos even though they might not know... i guess the have been putting up with many of my cranky moments... i only hope that i have not been too hard on them... arigato!

well...... though i'm sad to say this... i gotta go try finish my holiday homework... XD

2005-05-22T12:21:00.000+08:00

it's been about 3 weeks since i've wrote... haha... don ask me why. eveytime i start this page with something in mind to write, my fingers simply will not obey my mind... suppose you can blame it on my laziness if you really want to put a cause to my absence...
it's been a hellish week... but also kind of a good week for me. there was about 6 tests [including quizzes] this week... total hell... think i'm going to fail half of them...
but it's been kind of good too... i think i've finally put the darkness that have been plagueing me behind... tucked it into a safe corner of my mind... guess it's about tme to start smiling again... and let bygones be bygones... it's definitely time...
not that i'm all sunshine and happiness every second of the day but... oh well... kan kai le...
perhaps this was the reason for my "writer's block"? haha... but do not be mistaken that i'll be writing a lot soon...
i fell in love with a new book recently... or rather a new trilogy... the 1st book is called eragon... the second is eldest... it's only out in august... dying to read it... haha... they don't even have a name for the third book yet... amazingly the author wrote eragon at the age of 15... or is it 17? oops i think my data has gone wrong... miracles upon miracles... eragon's movie is coming out next year... you should read it sayuki-chan... haha... but i won't be able to lend it to you yet... i think i've gotta lend it to dras first...
oh well... i've talkoed myself out already... cya when my "creative" juices are working again...

2005-04-28T18:58:00.000+08:00

i am so depressed! i'm not gonna do well for my chem test n i'm definitely going tofail my math one... haiz... amazing miracle... my chem is actually going to do better than my math... what has the world become??? haiz anyway...
n i'm totally sleep deprived... i deperately need to replenish my sleep but well... time enough to do that in the weekends...
i've got tonnes of stuff to do over the weekends though...
1. pack my room [people r coming to c the place so that they can fix a price for the enblock]
2. i've gotta go alter my uniform... it's way way way over the knee...
3. i need to do the gpp [most probably meeting my group members in person or on msn]
4. catch up on some work
5. pack my files... can't stand the mess anymore
6. mayb watch a couple of episodes of destiny
7. zzzzzzzzz.............
busy ain't i? haha well guess everybody is this busy or even busier...
i've run out of things to say again... jaa ne... till next time!

oh~ sayuki-chan... remind me to tell you the big mouth fish joke the next time i c u k?

2005-04-24T13:54:00.000+08:00

sayuki-chan has been complaining that i have not been updating my blog regularly... so here i am squeezing my brain for sth to write...
well i have that chinese oral competition tomorrow. just thinking about it now makes my whole digestive system knot up in fear... haiz... it's tomorrow n i still have not thought of a topic to advertise about yet... hopefully by the end of this entry i'll have thought of sth since i'm really squeezing my brain dry for this... mayb sth will drop out... mayb
n i didn't get to tell sayuki-chan how i was during speech day... just too many things to say but too little time to say it... well... if sayuki-chan is reading this... just think about a numb limb... like your legs after sitting too long... if you don't understand... i'll elaborate the next time i c u... for others who r reading this... give no further thought to this... n if this sounds bad... i can assure u that it isn't really...
oh... n i am so glad that sayuki-chan is going to help me burn d.n. angel... finally i'm gong to have more anime to watch... n toking about anime... three cheers for arts central for putting inuyasha back on... hip hip hurray hip hip hurray hip hip hurray!!!
on a serious note... people may wonder y my blog entries always have to do with the superficial... well mainly i would say it's cos my serious entries r always filed up in my brain... may b a good thing... may b a bad thing... but since all the serious things r up there in my brain... the superficial things will just have to unload... if not brain will just information overload n die on me... :P
haiz... no ideas yet... better go think something up...

2005-04-10T14:24:00.000+08:00

i've been rushing to a finish a book i just bought a about week ago... i'm finishing it soon so i thought i'd give it a break that's y i'm online now... i went to check out this other book by the same author... to my absolute horror i found that it was a sequel to the book i'm reading now... i've been buying this kind of books for the express purpose that i don't have to by sequel's... or to wait for them... haiz... seems that i can't run away from it... i just can't stand it when books leave loose ends... esp when there is like another 600 over pages of them... guess i'll have to hunt that book down... i've never seen it anywhere before though... hopefully it may be found at borders... hopefully... if not i'll have to entertain sleepless nights soon with my musings of what will happen in the second book... oh btw... the second book is autumn bridge by takashi matsuoka... if any of u see it tell me k???

2005-03-25T18:17:00.000+08:00

haha... i kinda twisted my ankle yesterday... i was running up some stairs n i aim wrong so i kicked the stair i was tyring to go up n i was like *prackz* on the stairs... so my left knee has a small blue bleck from knocking against the stair n my right anklr is 1/3 larger than it ought to b... my mom was like so old already still dunno how to walk... then i was like this is the first time i twisted my ankle... anyway... the swellings going down... i don mind as long as it's ok by mon... it better b...

2005-03-22T21:38:00.001+08:00

toking to my father is the most useless thing i've ever done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't even ask me wad happen... ... i'll probably vomit blood enough to flood the whole of singapore if i tok about it...

2005-03-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

2005-03-13T12:07:00.000+08:00

i had a really nice nice nice dream yesterday... hahaha... so i'm in a great mood today... but i'm not telling wad dream it was... :P

have ogl "camp" tml... haiz... would b so sad if i'm in dasen's clan... he vows to make me do tons of stuff... *sniff sniff*

oh... n guess wad sayuki-chan... there's like a 50% possibility that i'll b in the same class as dasen... again... but oh well i'm numb already... like it would b nice if i don c him... but if he's there... no biggie...

2005-03-08T18:35:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling kinda down today... so i won b toking much... y not i say a few quotes... original or not... true or not... just read it k? u can blast at me on haloscan... here i go...

this comes from mr. davies yeo's talk... "children enter school as question marks and leaves as periods..." i am a period [y do u think i use so many '...'?]... but sometimes... i'm a question mark too...

"-ve feelings r the bars to ur cage... take them away n u won need a key..." so in a sense we r all free... everything is just a state of mind...

"true loneliness isn't being alone..." everyone should noe this... if u've really been lonely b4... u'll noe that being alone can b the best companionship... i do this with a book of course...

"everybody has a circle about them... whether permeable, semi-permeable, or totally unpermeable... it's still a barrier... it's there for a purpose..."

this is a stupid one... "if u can hear silence... is silence still silent?" [forgive the alliteration]

"if u can't hear a sound... is a sound still a sound?"

"they say words r the essence of life... but how many people can really put there true feelings in words so that it is received exactly as it is felt?"

"people drag their feet when they r tired... but doesn't dragging of feet make u even more tired?"

i'm out of things to say...

one last thing...

~* howl's moving castle rocks!!! *~

2005-03-07T16:44:00.000+08:00

so scary... i saw an old woman faint just now... she was like swaying... n then she collapsed... but then when i got near she was like getting up n everything... like nothing happened... scary... now i noe that wad happens in shows when those people start swaying around before they faint isn't false...
i skipped choir again today... *bad bad me*
i wanna watch howl's moving castle!!!

2005-03-01T15:47:00.000+08:00

got o's back yesterday... was really ok with my results [that's 15... if anybody wants to noe]... sad thing is i owe two people $10 meals... n another sad thing is i'll mot b getting my mp3 player... [sniff sniff] :*(... good thing is... my phone has been giving me tons of prob so i'll be getting a new phone with a plan... [phew... finally]... well that's the only silver lining...

sital's leaving on this thursday for melbourne... planning to go to her place to have a game of tennis before she leaves... [heehee... kinda making use of her] anyway... i'll be sending her off on thurs... hopefully my parents won't make a fuss... haha... must remember to bring her presents for birthday, christmas n farewell... luckee i gave her valentine's day gift already...

i really hope sayuki-chan can get into pjc... keeping my fingers crossed...

2005-02-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

sayuki-chan gomen nasai!!! i changed my blogger account... i couldn't access my blogs... dunno y... give u my new password n ID... haha... but not here... :P